We all know that relationships take work to keep them working in a healthy way. However, when there are conflicts or problems, we tend to feel overwhelmed and isolated to some degree.
The truth is that sometimes we do not have the emotional and cognitive resources to be able to face the needs of a relationship. It is then, when it is time to go to a professional space to help us with this task.
What is couple’s therapy?
Couples therapy, also called couples psychotherapy or marriage counselling, is a type of psychotherapy that is designed to help couples of all kinds to identify and resolve conflicts and improve their relationship.
Who can go to couples therapy?
This type of therapy is appropriate for any adult couple who find themselves having excessive or repetitive conflict in their relationship. It can also be a channel to improve certain areas in the relationship or acquire skills (for example, greater emotional intelligence or effective communication techniques) that can help the well-being of the relationship.
It doesn't matter if you're not married, your living arrangements, how long you've been together, or your sexual orientation. The only requirement at this point is really that both parties agree that they need help.
Main goals of couple’s therapy
The main objective is to facilitate change so that the relationship improves. This involves promoting healthy communication between parties and empathy to enhance understanding. Therapy also focuses on behavioural changes and dysfunctional patterns.
Many therapists, myself included, can assign certain tasks, some sort of “homework” so that what we address/discover in session has a real and beneficial impact on the couple's daily life.
Importance of couple’s therapy
While the main goal of this type of therapy is to improve the health of the relationship, there are many benefits on a personal level. Managing stress in a healthier way, identifying and verbalizing our emotions, stopping dysfunctional patterns, are examples of the benefits that our mental health can obtain.
At the “us” level, communication tends to become more direct and proactive, which prevents constant misunderstandings.
Intimacy and trust are basic points to work on. Being able to talk about our emotions and points of view without feeling judged generates real closeness between people.
On other occasions, it is in fact past conflicts that are preventing the healthy evolution of the relationship. A professional, safe and neutral space can provide the right guide to leave these problems behind or realize that it is something that caused damage that we may no longer want to repair.
Myths about couple’s therapy
Remember that couple´s therapy is not only for moments of crisis, it can be an excellent space for self-discovery and mutual discovery. It can also help in life change processes such as deciding to get married, have children, retirement, among others.
It can be a space that facilitates creative reconnection when we go through moments of distance and processes that are more directed towards our individual self.
Going to couples therapy does not mean that your relationship has failed, all relationships go through challenges and seeking professional help to navigate them should be a behaviour that we normalize. Knowing when to ask for help is a sign of commitment and strength.
If you think that no one has to find out about our "dirty laundry", remember that couples therapy is carried out by a professional who will focus on finding solutions, not on making you feel guilty or ashamed. No one experiences guilt about going to a gastroenterologist if stomach pain persists, why should it be any different with our mental health?
Another important point to consider is that couples therapy alone will not repair your relationship. Sometimes it's just in couples therapy that we realize that the relationship doesn't work anymore. In these cases, the role of the therapist is to facilitate a healthy relationship closure. The goal is not for you to stay together, but for the relationship to be healthy and this in some cases is not possible.
Dare to take the first step
Whether you are experiencing frequent conflicts, estrangement, dissatisfaction, infidelity or trust issues, or you just want to strengthen your bond, couples therapy offers a safe and professional space to explore and deepen mutual understanding.
It's normal to feel overwhelmed or anxious at first, however the benefits can have a very real and significant impact. Dare to take this step together.
Comments